Confessions of the Military Significant Other

Time. 

As a “normal couple” in a “normal relationship” [whatever that means] you don’t have to worry about time. You talk to your significant other whenever you want, see them every chance you can, have dinner/movie dates, and enjoy the random trips you get to take to Walmart for things for the house. As a military significant other we worry about time …. every other chance we get. You never know when you’re going to be apart or for how long you will go without seeing each other or talking. You learn the value of a day, a minute, and even a second. Your time together becomes Facebook messaging and random phone calls, if you’re really lucky you get the chance and the internet connection for a Skype date when you get to actually see them. The time that you get to see them will turn even the worst day into a really good day.

As a military significant other being apart is extremely difficult, no matter the duration of time, you’re missing a piece of you. However, than you get a phone call that says that they might be coming home a week earlier than they originally said and you’re ecstatic! Seven days is seven more days you had between this time apart and the next time apart.  As a dual military significant other I have learned that time is everything, and that it can not be taken for granted. If we have five weeks before the husband leaves for months and I have to spend three weeks in another state… our time spent together is cut short. I don’t know about my other significant others, but for us if he’s playing video games and I’m reading a book on the couch next to him, we are happy as clams spending time together. Not every second needs to be spent doing anything… we can just be quiet, watching a movie, enjoying the company of one another.

Time has always been a funny thing, if you ask me. It goes slow some days and others it’s going by so fast you can hardy believe the clock. But TIME I have found is a countdown, and one day we won’t have anymore countdowns. One day military significant others can stop counting down the weeks until Basic training is over, the minutes until they deploy, the days until they return home. One day the final countdown will be until you can spend all the time together that you want.

Enjoy the time you have together, and if you’re not a military significant other don’t take the time you have with your other half for granted, be thankful that you have that time together.

Constantly searching for time…

I am not sure about you, but I certainly feel like I am always searching for more time. I always have something that needs to get done or something that I want to get done. There is only so many hours in a day and I understand that notion. However, why do some days seem to go by faster than others?

Time is neither our friend nor is it our enemy. I am constantly hearing from students that they ran out of time on their ACT/SAT tests or that because of practice, school, and socializing they didn’t have the time to sit and do their homework. 

Whilst I type this, I think of all the things that I need/want to have accomplished and what the deadline is that I want them to be done by. I am headed to Idaho first thing Monday morning. I am not packed, haven’t started packing or getting what I need to go. There are dishes to be finished, laundry to be washed, and I would really like to wash the kitchen floor [okay, maybe not so much that last one], but you get my point. I then think about all the time I “wasted” today. I did have 7 hours of work at the office today. Aside from that I went to the oral surgeon [that I couldn’t avoid], I spent at least an hour driving there and back. I spent Andrew’s lunch hour at his company with him, than came home before work and sat on the computer. I took a shorter shower than usual this morning, and I didn’t take the extra time to straighten my hair. So, why didn’t I have time to pack at least a pair of boots today?

Because I am stalling, I am putting off doing the thing I don’t want to because I don’t want to leave. I don’t really want to go to Idaho for three weeks, I have to go. It’s the same thing with the student and the homework. They don’t necessarily WANT to sit and do their Mathematics homework, so they don’t.

I don’t think we’re searching for time… in my opinion we’re wasting the time we have so we have less time to do the things we don’t want to do. We find things that are more meaningful and enjoyable to do with that time. No one really wants to be miserable, bored, or “stuck” but that’s not the way it goes. 

Time is always a funny thing. How time flies is dependent on the person you ask, it may be slow for you but zooming by for another. 

Make the most of your time, you truly never know how fast it’s going to go by or how much of it is going to be left. Do what you need to do, spend time with those whom you cherish, always say I love you, and try not to hate. A deployment might come up, unexpected training, a conference in another city you have to attend, or an opportunity to study abroad. 

 

Cherish time, it’s precious.