Teenagers: first love

First love is a little foolishness and a lot of curiousity

–George Bernard Shaw

It’s high school and aside from all the classes, homework, extra curriculars, and athletics, you can’t control the hormones of adolesence buzzing through the crowded halls. You have a boyfriend/girlfriend for maybe a week, break up, bounce back and forth in this game of limbo. There may be another teenager thrown in the mix but it’s all the same – an endless cycle  of on again/off again boyfriends.

Who knows how it starts, it’s different for everyone, you see them whether it’s across the hall, at a football game, or passing each other in the cafeteria; maybe you have a class with them. All you know is that they have your attention and for some reason you are drawn to them. You start talking, hanging out and getting to know each other. Feelings develop; you whisper to your friends that you’re crushing on the special someone in your second period class. One thing leads to another and suddenly you’re boyfriend/girlfriend.

You spend most of the time in your classes writing notes to each other for when your apart and when you leave school you spend countless hours texting them. Those countless hours turn into “No, you hang up the phone first” arguements. You’re friends get jealous they see how happy you are, they want that. Time is going by quickly you barely even realize. One day you are just meeting each other at the  lockers and not trying to hold hands [because you still get sweaty nervous palms around him] and now you’re holding hands and strutting for the world to see. It’s been a MONTH! Longest relationship ever, and you’re starting to think this could be the one for you, that you’re actually starting to more than just LIKE THEM LIKE THEM, but you don’t want to say anything. They’re your first kiss, the romantic kind that you see in the movie and everytime you kiss them after that you get these butterflies you can’t explain. They’re in your head when you’re hearing the sappy Taylor Swift love songs on the radio. They soon become you’re everything and you’re beginning to be able to picture a life with them. They’re the first person you’re going to say “I LOVE YOU” to and mean it. You’re actually going to know the feeling too, not just think you know what the feeling is, you’re actually going to feel it.

They’re your first love.. scary huh? It’s the first person, other than your family, that you’re scared to not have around you anymore. You get scared that they will leave you. You see your future with them and can’t picture it without. This is first love, in my opinion, it’s one of the scariest things to ever experience as a teenager. Like the quote stated above “First love is a little bit of foolishness and a lot of curiousity” is exactly right. It’s foolish to think that at such a young age that you have found the person that you are destined to spend the rest of your life with. It’s foolish to think that you actually know what you’re life is going to look like outside of high school. It’s foolish to think that being someone’s first love, means that you are going to be their last as well. It’s a whole lot of curiousity because you’ve never experienced it before. You’ve never felt the emotions before, never felt the electricity before. It’s curiousity because you have these hormones gearing you, fueling you, and you want to explore. You’re curious to know about the other, mentally and physically. You’re foolish to think that you are old enough to know that these curiousities can’t get you into trouble. You’re foolish to think that these curiousities won’t lead to something foolish and unplanned.

First love: that first person that took your breath away, stole your heart and you didn’t want it back. The first person you thought was going to be the one you were going to spend the rest of your life with. The one person with the means to destroy you just by simply leaving. First love is that whirlwind of emotion as if you are falling into wonderland and can’t/don’t want to stop.

First love ends. I hate to break it to you, but more times than not; it ends. It crushes you and that’s when you realize it’s first love. You don’t want to eat, you cry yourself to sleep, and you try to avoid everyone that seems happier than you are. You play “My Happy Ending” by Avril Lavigne on repeat for two weeks while avoiding eye contact with said first love in the hallway. Honestly, you think you are never going to be happy. You never think you will find that one person to spend the rest of your life with, because in your eyes, they just left.

I’ll tell you something; the next few boyfriend/girlfriend you have after this first love, you will compare them to that person. You will, but eventually… in time you won’t. The sad songs won’t seem as sad, the sun won’t seem so bright, and you’ll have moved on. You won’t be angry, you won’t be sad, you won’t feel the twinge when someone mentions their name… you’ll be free. And in being free, you’re able to search for your last love….

And can I tell you a secret? Being somebody’s first love it great, but being someone’s last love… that’s an amazing feeling completely indescribable.