At the age of twenty-two, myself and my husband took our vows on a warm July day. According to some, twenty-two was too early to know who we wanted to spend the rest of our life with. Our theory: When you know who you’re supposed to be with, you just know. Why prolong it any further? We’ve done our growing up, went to college, went to basic training, had experiences. We made a decision, not on a whim or because our parents arranged it for us, but because we know the vows we planned on taking were serious and forever, so we had to be right. Both rooted into religion as we are… divorce simply is not an option as it is for some.
A long while ago, society used to marry their daughters very young; in their teen years, to a male that was to be their partner for their rest of their life., it was arranged. Even though unhappy they were stuck with that person for the rest of their lives. Eventually, we chose the male we were to spend our life with and even moreso the age in which we were going to start spending it with them. Couples got married later in life, thirties – forties. Couples waited until they were out of high school, college, have careers, and places of their own before settling down with someone else. As I sat and watched “Say yes to the dress: Atlanta” I was shocked to find out some of the ages of the brides looking for their dresses. There were two specifically that stuck out to me, both were seventeen years old.
At seventeen years old, I was picking out my prom dress not my wedding dress [not that I wore one anyway, but besides the point]. At seventeen years old I was not thinking about marriage, I was worrying about college, grades, swim competitions, SATs, and my boyfriend. I had a hard time figuring out what I wanted to do with my life, job wise, until retirement let alone think who I was going to spend the REST of my life with. How at the age of seventeen do you know who are supposed to marry, how could you? Up until that point you are still living at home, having meals prepared for you, being told to do your homework, studying, and socializing at the bowling alley on Friday nights.
These two seventeen year old girls on “Say yes to the dress” were still wearing their braces! And the one was saving her first KISS for her wedding day, first KISS?? You’re going to have your first kiss and your first… um, time be on your wedding night? Wow…isn’t that moving a little – fast? The other girl wanted her wedding dress to be sexy and make her look like a grown up. If you’re trying to “look like a grown up” and “look like you should be taken seriously” you should be shopping for prom dresses and waiting for puberty to hit, not be in bridal wear – unless of course you’re a junior bridesmaid to your older sister.
Is the younger generation, teenagers, taking marriage too lightly? Do they not understand the purpose of marriage, the forever-ness of it? Maybe getting married isn’t a big deal anymore since divorce is so high and can be done simply. At the age of twenty-three, I am absolutely certain I am with who I am supposed to spend the rest of my life with, he brings out the best in me, believes in me, and looks at me in such a way no one ever has, along with a long list of other reasons I know I am supposed to be with him. At the age of twenty-three, I am just realizing what I want to do with my life, career wise. I could never have learned all of this in high school, I didn’t even meet my husband in high school!
Maybe growing up you need solid role models for everything. My grandparents have been married for roughly sixty five years, they’ve been my model for marriage. My husband’s parents have been married for over twenty years, and have been is model for a healthy marriage. I hope that the younger generation puts as much thought into getting married to someone for the rest of their life as they put into planning their perfect wedding, it’s not a decision to be taken lightly.
Life as we THINK we know it 